Back in the spring of 2019, I was fresh into a travel obsession and hunting for any way to keep exploring the world. I started watching videos of other people traveling to see what they were doing — and whether it might be possible for me, too. That’s how I found a video from a young American woman who had spent a summer as an au pair in France. She hadn’t used an agency; she’d simply had a friend of a friend of a friend (you know how it goes) who connected her with a family. 
I was instantly hooked on the idea of being an au pair abroad. The catch? I didn’t have a friend of a friend of a friend who needed one. Instead of giving up, I started digging around online for more on this magical term, “au pair.” I found sources explaining how to do it entirely on my own — finding a family, writing your own contract, booking your own flights, and handling everything yourself.
It seemed manageable, but this was going to be my first time doing anything like it, and I knew I wanted some security built in. That’s when I found Rome Abroad, and they helped me sort out everything I needed before I landed in Italy. Now that I’ve looked into going it alone and also gone through a program, here’s why I’d recommend a program every time.
Security
I get it — you’re excited, and the idea that a family might not pay the pocket money you agreed on probably isn’t on your radar. But it happens, and it happens more often than you’d think. Going through a program means you have a clear, written agreement that spells out exactly what you provide the family and what they provide you. It protects both sides, so everyone can focus on actually enjoying the experience instead of worrying about it.
Networking
Traveling the world solo can be incredible, but it’s nice to make friends along the way. When you go through a program, you’re plugged into a network of other au pairs — people who’ve already done this or are doing it alongside you. You end up with friends before you even land. When I went abroad, I met another au pair and we ended up traveling all over Italy and Europe together — more than 15 Italian cities, because we both wanted to see everything. Sharing those experiences with someone equally excited made all the difference.
Consistency
A program gives you peace of mind. You can relax, bond with your host family, make friends, and travel without carrying the mental load of figuring everything out yourself. And when you decide you want to do it again — because you probably will, I did — you already know what to expect. From booking flights to matching with a family to setting expectations around time off, a good program brings consistency to the whole process.
“When I look back on those four months, all I remember are the good times and none of the behind-the-scenes stress.”
So, Should You Go It Alone?
Some people do become au pairs entirely on their own, and plenty make it work — it’s not a bad idea by any means. But going through a program takes a lot of the stress out of moving abroad. You know someone’s in your corner if something goes wrong, and you know the family you’re matched with is genuinely committed to hosting you.
Being an au pair is a beautiful, unforgettable experience — you’re moving into someone’s home, bonding with their kids, becoming part of their daily life. You deserve to spend your energy enjoying that, not stressing over logistics. If you’re considering it for the first time, do your research and figure out what’s right for you. I used a program for my time as an au pair in Italy, and I’m glad I did.
Get out there and start traveling! You can read more about Kailee’s experience at kaileesmart.com or follow her on Instagram.
FAQ: Using a Program vs. Doing It Alone
Is it possible to become an au pair without using a program?
Yes — some people arrange everything independently, from finding a host family to writing their own agreement. It can work, but it means handling every detail yourself with no built-in support if something goes wrong.
What does a program actually handle for you?
A program typically helps match you with a vetted host family, sets clear expectations through a written agreement, and gives you a point of contact and a community of other au pairs throughout your placement.
Will I still make my own friends and have my own experience?
Definitely. A program gives you a starting network, but the friendships, travel, and memories you build from there are entirely your own.
Is one country better than another for a first-time au pair?
It really depends on what you’re looking for. Placements are available in destinations like Italy, Spain, France, and Australia, so it’s worth thinking about language, culture, and lifestyle when deciding where to go.
If reading this made you wish for your own au pair story instead of a solo scramble, we’d love to help you get there.
Kailee is an American-Italian photographer, writer, and traveler who fell in love with her roots and never looked back. She first lived in Rome as an au pair in 2019, an experience that changed everything. Since then, she’s explored over 50 cities and towns across Italy and now spends part of the year in her family’s home in the peaceful hills of Rieti. She currently lives in the UK, where she's working for charities, managing their socials. Deeply passionate about language, cultural connection, and soulful storytelling, Kailee shares honest reflections, travel tips, and glimpses of slow, intentional living around the world. Follow her journey at www.kaileesmart.com and use code KAILEE for $70 off your own RomeAbroad adventure.
